Dish Network Customer Service Hates Me

If Dish Network has a list of hated customers, I'm on it.  Over Thanksgiving break, I realized that I was going to be very unhappy without Bravo and FX, so I convinced my parents to upgrade.  I checked out DirecTv and they had some pretty nice specials (for six months...) so I called up DishNetwork and said that I was going to switch to DIrecTV.  This transferred me to an "Account Specialist", supposedly someone with power.  With this "Account Specialist," I got permission to change the account (they had to ask my Dad to approve me),cancelled the Dish Home Protection Plan (a $6 monthly charge), upgraded to a DVR (for free) and to the Top 200 (so I could have Bravo, FX, Speed, etc...) and got a $10 monthly discount on our account for a year.

These changes seemed simple, just remove one monthly fee, add another $10 credit, change from Top 100 to Top 200.  Sounds easy right?  Something that would happen often...

Well my parents got their bill, and instead of the expected $48, it was $86.  Now I know I'm not a mathematician, but $48 != $86.  When I had talked to my "Account Specialist" in November, I had confirmed that there would be no fees, no things that I wasn't aware of, everything was taken care of, etc etc.  They lied.

Our $86 bill had the Dish Home Protection Plan (that I had cancelled), fees that I wasn't aware of, and was missing our $10 monthly discount.  

So I call up Dish Network, talk to a robot for a bit, then isten to some music for 10 minutes or so, then finally talk to a real human being.  I go through my list of problems and we try to fix these one by one.

First problem, Dish Home Protection Plan is on our bill, even though I cancelled it in NOvember.  Dish Man reads the comments on the account, and cannot find where I ever cancelled it.  So I ask to re-cancel it.  Guess what, I now don't have the authority to do anything on the account, so I have to go find my parents, so they can say "OK" into the phone and I can now re-cancel the Dish Home Protection Plan.  We now have to pay a month of this pro-rated Dish Home Protection Plan because they didn't cancel it right the first time, so here's an extra $5.60 for something I canceled a month ago.

Second problem, DISH Network DVR Service Fee $5.98.  A fee?  I thought I asked about fees and there were none.  Well here's a fee.  They lied, again.  Dish Man has no authority to cancel or waive this fee.  Fine, whatever, he can win on this one, for now.

Third problem, Programming Access Fee $5.00.  A fee?  I thought I asked about fees and there were none.  Well here's a fee.  They lied, again.  This is because our DVR is supposedly not hooked up to a phone line (it is).  So I run all of the tests, and surprise! Its hooked up to a working phone line.  They screwed up.  We ran these tests when we first got the DVR on December 5, and pretty sure nothing has changed since then.  I win.  + $5 for me.

Fourth problem, 

Dec 05 - Dec 26 Digital Home Advantage with Top 200 $35.45

Nov 30 - Dec 26 DishDVR Advantage $9.54

So these two charges add up to $44.99, but they begin on different days.  I'm not sure why there is a six day difference in the beginning of fees, or why we had to pay the DishDVR Advantage Fee when we didn't even have the DVR from Nov 30 - Dec 05, but I'm tired of arguing with DishMan at this point.  We try to compare charges on the bill, and guess what, he has completely different

numbers.  Dish Network can't look at the same copy of the bill that the customer gets.  Does that make ANY sense at all?  If I call in about a $9.54 charge that I don't understand, it doesn't even show up on the customer service rep's copy.  

Fifth problem, our monthly $10 discount isn't anywhere on our bill.  It's on the Dish Man's copy.  He has our total as being $76, while ours says $86.  It got put on AFTER the bill was sent.  Now how did all these lovely fees get added on, but not our discount?  Sounds fishy.

These customer service people leave comments, so other operators can read back through and see what we've done to our account.  Dish Man read back through alot of them today, and I'm sure added alot of mean comments about me as well.  What can I say, I like to give them a challenge.  They're going to have to update those comments again, because I plan on having yet another long discussion with them soon about getting rid of these fees...

How to Make a Chirstmas Tree... Graham Style

Putting up the Christmas tree is always an interesting experience at my house.  We've used five gallon buckets wired to a plywood base (screwed to the floor), or the tree wired to the window... but this year was something entirely different.

Think about the Charlie Brown Christmas tree - thats kind of what ours started out looking like. How do you fix that?

Drill holes in the tree, and add more branches, obviously.

Oh, and tie the branches up with fishing wire...

My Crazy Kitten

RipenedCoho?

For the past few months, I've been getting IM's from the screen names adjectiveCoho.  Today, RipenedCoho talked to me.  This time I decided to respond and it turns out it was someone named Leah.

The Coho "bot" relays messages between two unsuspecting IM users.  It has something to do with LiveJournal, but either way its kind of creepy.  I had no idea what Coho was when they contacted me the first few times.  My only thought was that it was some sort of bad word that I didn't know the meaning of (which is partially true).

This Coho bot is part of TheGreatHatsby, which I found from wikipedia.  I feel special that TheGreatHatsby has chosen to contact me.  But now, since I've talked to the random confused person on the other side, I'd be okay if they never contact me again.  Lets hope this works.

Dear GreatHatsby,

I hate your stinkin guts.  You make me vomit.  You're the scum between my toes.

Love,

Alexis

I'm so close to winning the game of College

With only one week of college left, its time to procrastinate and blog.  After living in State College for four years, I'm going to miss some of the unique things about Happy Valley.  Walking to class, you can't be surprised at anything you see.  I've seen a hoarde of almost naked people protesting sweatshops walking down Pollock (and was photographed in the background, published front page in the Collegian), kids on a rope, the Chicken Man, the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile, tightrope walkers in the trees on the Mall...you get my point.

I've had many fun explorations here, finding Easter Eggs in January around campus, posing with the children statue near the Alumni Center, going to the Circus in the BJC, a LAN party (...), and many more that I can't remember now - but I'm sure they were fun.

In eight days, I have to squeeze in so many things that I have left to do.  The Collegian has their own list of "10 things to do before graduation."  Only a few of them really look interesting:

• I have to get a tatoo.  I'm thinking paw prints?
  
• Trek up Mount Nittany.  Now this I'm not so sure of, I'm not a fan of the cold.
• Adopt a bench.  How about a computer chair in the castle (IST)? And I already have a tree.

Penn State has been featured in some national "What to do before you graduate" lists.  As Penn Staters we're supposed to camp out at Paternoville and order a pint of Peachy Paterno at the Creamery.  I've missed camping out for Paternoville - I'm okay with that.  I stood in line my freshman year and got first row seats, we had a losing season, but it was still an amazing experience.  Since the Creamery moved, I've been there only twice.   I did drive past JoePa's house - didn't see him though.  I need to eat at the Waffle Shop, buy my Penn State Alumni apparel, and many many more things.  Any more suggestions?

Note: 8 minutes after I posted this, the Senior Class Gift people called me...weird.