Thursday, January 8, 2009

Telemarketers...

A telemarketer called my house today.  Here is what I remember from the conversation:

Telemarketer: I'm calling from Omega [something].  Have you seen our commercials on tv?  They're on CNN, History Channel etc...
Me: I don't watch TV.  

Telemarketer: Me either.  We're a new company in the area and we'd like to give you a free estimate on a home remodeling project.  Can I ask a few questions?
Me: Sure

...So she goes on and on suggesting things that I would need fixed, windows, siding, doors, roof.  I kindly let her know that we've replaced everything in the house in the past 5 years...

Telemarketer: Are there any other home remodeling projects you were thinking of?
Me: A tunnel.

Telemarketer: A tunnel?
Me: Yeah, the mailbox is really far away and it gets so cold in the winter, it'd be great if I could just go through my tunnel to the mailbox.

Telemarketer: How far is your mailbox?
Me: About 300 yards, its really far.

Telemarketer: [thinking] Well that is a good idea, I'm not sure if we can do that, can I call you back?
Me: Sure

I was pretty sure that the telemarketer had given up on me and my tunnel.  I had developed a pretty bad accent/lisp during the phone call and was asking her to dig a 300 yard tunnel from my house to the mailbox. 

A few minutes later though, the phone rings...

Telemarketer: Hello, Ms. Graham?
Me: Yup, hi.

Telemarketer: We wouldnt know how to do that.  We don't know how to do tunnels.
Me: Oh darn.

Telemarketer:  Do you know anyone who would make a tunnel?
Me: Well I imagine if I pay enough money, someone would make me a tunnel.

Telemarketer: True.  Are there any other projects that you'd like done, like a gameroom?
Me: I don't play games.  Its against my religion.

Telemarketer: Well a game room would be a place where you could sit down and watch TV...
Me: TV is against my religion.

Telemarketer: Oh... what is your religion?
Me: I'd rather not talk about it.

Telemarketer: Well... If you do think of any projects you'd like a free estimate on, you can look us up in the phone book.


No tunnel for me.  Fail.

1 comment:

Mary Beth Massengill said...

hahahhahha! Alexis, I have not been faithfully following your blog and shame on me, because this is so funny. :) I have been laughing for at least the last 15 minutes, I just had to stop here and thank you for making me smile.

Mary Beth